Locked out

Finding a place to sleep can present itself a challenge at times, especially in the city. Usually a good forest service road will lead to a nice secluded place and if I am lucky there is a river nearby in which to bathe. The city brings forth a host of issues that make finding a decent place to park a little challenging, there are the busy streets and high traffic, the puke coming from a college drunk, the grumpy old men who have the audacity to wake you because your "sleeping in their driveway". There are all types of impositions that take their toll on finding a peaceful resting ground, and usually its not worth the trouble to stay in the city; however, driving through endless miles of country road scattered with "no trespassing" signs also begin to take their toll on morale.

I am driving across the country in my trusty steed, whom I refer to as Shadowfax. It is a 96 white Ford Ranger equipped with a matching aluminum canopy on the back, which makes for quite the cozy all-in-one living quarters. The kitchen is right next to the bedroom, and the den doubles as my walk-in closet. She is now fully equipped with running water, a big jug i fill up regularly, and add a couple folding chairs and the tailgate becomes a nice venetian dining room. Add Steve, my plant, to the mix and it really is quite homey. It's not so bad once you get past the stifling heat and lack of head room, who needs to sit up anyway? All that said she is my noble companion and what i have come to know as home.

On one fateful night i made the command decision to stay in the city, find a nice calm street and set up shop. I understand that it sounds ridicules, but it's possible to be fairly indiscriminate. How often do you look in the back of a pickup to see if someones asleep in the back? I had just found the perfect spot, a long driveway put me at a good distance from the house, and the large oaks would provide some excellent shade come the morning. Just one problem, as i gatherd my things in the cab i noticed that at the end of this driveway stood an old man with wily hair, boxer shorts, moccasins, tall socks, and a white tank top, standing in his doorway giving me the old stare-down. Not one to be easily intimidated i waited him out. This was nonsense because i wasn't going to sleep there now, he would surely ask some questions and give me unwanted attention, but how could i let him intimidate me? A smirk crested over my mouth and the waiting game was on. his persistance held out, but i was the more determined party. No less than 10 minutes later he went inside his home, at which point i could finally leave.

Feeling quite accomplished i looked for another spot, preferably without any homeowners that would frown upon someone making coffee on their tailgate at 9am. I found just the spot, it was nice a quiet, fences on both sides of the street, no homes in sight, big trees, no street lights, the type of place i dream about. I park and step outside to give a quick stretch and close my door. Disaster. As soon as the door hits I check my pockets. Doors locked and keys still in the ignition. To some this might dampen the spirits, but not this guy, it has the opposite effect. Motivation. It's 11 at night and my spirits couldn't be higher. Call a locksmith? Out of the question, i will not be defeated by such a minor setback. Go to sleep and wait till morning? Even more unreasonable. The problem will be solved now.

I had left the back window of the cab open to ventelate, and this was the perfect place to start. I have two dowells that are about 2 1/2 feet long, which i use to stop the sliding windows from being opened by an unwanted roomate. I climb in the back of my good old steed and grab one of the dowels. The back window connects to the living quarters under the canopy, but even when it is fully opened it isn't much larger than an 10" by 14" hole at the biggest. I grab one of the dowels and decide it best to use it and push the unlock button on the door. I fit one arm and my head through the whole and navigated the dowel as if I were the miestro of the symphony. The wand is flailing looking for it's landing zone on the unlock button. It's no use, just not long enough. The wheels start turning and i think to myself, with both arms extended above my head my shoulders will shrink and i can fit through this small window of opportunity. With wand in hand i dive wand, then arms, and head and shoulders through the small opening. Shoulders through, i get stuck. I cannot push forward no matter how hard i try, but even worse is that i cannot backtrack. I drop the wand and every muscle inside me flexes out of terror. I am stuck and no one can help me.

Here i am wedged stuck in my trucks window, on a dark street away from anyone, with my keys three feet in from of my still in the ignition. After a couple deep breaths i calm enough to try and weasel my way out of this window. I get out, not unscathed there are cuts on my back where i was stuck, but who cares, I'm free! My determination does not die down, defeat is never a possibility. One dowel lost in the cab i try again, but in another fracas i lose that one as well. Time for a change in tactics. I need something long and sturdy. As it hits me i nearly fall over with my own brilliance, a tent pole! The time has passed to go for the unlock button, now i am going for the gold. I extend the tent pole in the canopy and decide i will thread the needle. As if it were some kind of carnival game i stick the tent pole through the key ring, rip the keys from the ignition and bring it back. By some act of god it worked. I celebrate my keys and hold them close, "i'll never let you out of my sight again" i promise aloud.

Sweaty, bleeding, and too worked up to fall asleep i simply lay on my mattress with the same smile as when i out waited the old man, Tony Williams will not be defeated that easily.

A love affair...

Colorado has presented itself to be the first candidate that could steal any part of my affection for Oregon. How do i respond to this? Must Oregon and I go to some sort of couples counseling? Have I betrayed my one true love, or is it that the world has more to offer? Oregon still holds itself in the depths of my soul, it is my home, my love, my friend; however, Colorado has thrown itself at me like a bitch in heat, and I, a simple mutt, have taken the bait.

Perhaps my wayward love roots from the familiarity it presents, Colorado feels like home. There is the lush endless greenery as far as the eye can see containing communities constructed of either Grizzly Adams style mountain men or forest dwelling hippies with that familiar musk of weed and patchouli oil. There is the mountains themselves with majestic and fierce wild-life in abundance surrounded by that familiar mix of native and foreign homo-sapiens fully equipped with hiking-boots, wool socks and short shorts even though they plan to never leave the visitors center. They both share the arid and dry desert biome which supplies the right amount of dust and sun to make everything appear as if there is a sepia filter covering your eyes and leaves your skin a spotted and peeling mix of pink and bronze.

Sure, Oregon has the coast and Colorado has the rockies, but what really sets the two apart is that Oregon has its roots deep within my chest, she beckons me and i confide in her; that and hipsters, not many fixed-gear bikes around here. She is home and within her i find the faces of friends and family, old roads i could drive in my sleep, and the primordial feeling of kinship one has with his neighbor, even if they have never spoke lest it be a noise, parking, or public urination complaint.

Here I am in Grand Junction, CO. enjoying the hospitality of my good friend Scott Fricke. I have driven across the Rockies four times now, soon to be a fifth, exploring the depths of this great state, and enjoying my time of solitude as well as my time with community. I am really happy despite my circumstances, and have an exuberance for life. All is well and i will include some humorous stories, there is already a vast abundance, and let you all know what I'm up to. Cheers to being alive!

How to Be a Hobo

1. If you cannot find a place to camp and must sleep in the city find a nice quiet suburban neighborhood, no one bothers you and it is the safest bet
2. Think twice about vigorous physical exercise, showers are a luxury
3. Most people are generally nice
4. Dollar beers are good for all the obvious reasons, but some of the lesser known benefits are that it forces you to sleep where you parked, close to the bar, and you sleep deep through the traffic and other general concerns which would normally leave you lying awake
5. The harder it is to make a cup of coffee the better it will taste
6. It snows in Wyoming, in June!
7. Park in a place that will be in the shade come morning, the sun is the most relentless alarm clock that exists
8. Sometimes you've just got to buck up and bathe no matter how cold the water is
9. Trees are your friend, among other reasons the make for a great place to inconspicuously pee
10. Eat at regular times and remember that coffee is a diuretic, its helpful to know when you've got to go

Greetings from the Rocky Mountains!

Reid and I have just passed through a quick and eventful leg of the journey. Here I am in Fraser Colorado spending the evening with Spencer Davis, the dirty dog himself. The first few days have been a blast. Reid and I cruised through Bend, to Boise, to Jackson Wyoming, down to Fort Collins Colorado and now here we are in Fraser. It has been a blast and i would have wanted to spend the trip with no one else other than Reido, but alas tomorrow I depart to find my way somewhere through the land of the brave to end up in the empire state. I am sure that there will be many stops along the way, and I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to be stuck in a truck with no one but myself and Steve (my plant) for the next 6 weeks, but i will soon find out. Undoubtedly I will experience deep loneliness and i will certainly go stir crazy, but the adventure is upon me and i look to make the most of every moment. I long to be challenged and pushed to the brink what I think I'm capable of, and realize that the limits do not exist. I wish to love and live and to see gods great earth. Today is here and now, off i go.

With much peace and love,

Tony